Using mindfulness to cope
Self-compassion techniques can help during the stress of a pandemic
By Dr. Karisse Callender, assistant professor in the College of Education’s Counselor Education Counseling Psychology Department
There’s no doubt that we are living in a very anxiety-provoking time. You might be feeling a lot of fear, anxiety, and worry about what is happening now and what the future looks like. Guess what — it makes sense that you might be feeling that way!
We are not living under “normal” circumstances and the uncertainty about how things will unfold is enough to cause some confusion or frustration about the way we move through life. While we may be feeling anxious or worried, we can also find ways to take care of our mental and physical health. In other words, we can take a dialectical approach to life — we can integrate opposites (eg., anxiety and calm) to help us get “unstuck” from overwhelming emotions or states of being. We can use mindfulness as one way to cope with distress or anxiety during this time. In simple terms, to be mindful is to be fully present in the moment and being aware of what is going on within and around us.
One of my favorite mindful practices is the RAIN of self-compassion: recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture with self-compassion. The acronym RAIN was originally developed about 20 years ago by Michelle McDonald and is taught by Tara Brach. This meditation can be done alone or done with any other mindful or contemplative practice. You can flow through the steps as many times as you need.
Recognize what is happening: What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What is affecting you? It’s easy to slip into self-judgment and to find a reason “why” you think or feel a certain way. As tempting as that might be, resist it as you recognize what is happening.
Eg., “Right now I think this pandemic will never end because of everything I see and read in the news!”
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is: Let whatever you are thinking or feeling happen without trying to change or “fix” it, and without suppressing or avoiding it. In other words, sit with what you are thinking and feeling.
Eg., “It makes sense that I feel worried right now”
Investigate with interest and care: Be curious about what you are thinking or feeling. You can ask yourself “how am I experiencing this in my body?” “what does this thought/feeling need from me?”
Eg., “I can feel this worry as a tension headache and pain in my stomach…what does my body need from me right now? maybe I need to get off social media and take a short walk around my neighborhood to help me relax.”
Nurture with self-compassion: Self-compassion is an important part of this process. As you recognize and investigate what is happening. Self-compassion refers to being warm and understanding to yourself when you are experiencing difficult times. Give yourself intentional kindness to help you feel comforted.
Eg., “I can feel worried and still feel love and kindness toward myself. In this moment, I am safe, I can find the beauty around me while I’m on my walk.”
You can practice RAIN alone or with a friend or loved one. Do what you need, in the way you need it.
Be well and stay well.
Editor’s note: Dr. Callender’s research focuses on how individuals use mindfulness. She recently launched two studies related to how COVID-19 is impacting quality of life and how we are practicing mindfulness during this time.
